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And The Moral Of The Story Is, Appreciate What You've Got Because I Am Just So Fantastic!
Welcome All! Have A Sit, Sip Some Tea And Enjoy The Spectacle That Is Life. Have Fun With This Taste Of Voyeurism, And Please Don't Hesitate To Leave Comments Be They Amicable Advice, Constructive Criticism, Or Death Threats For I Assure You That I Will Appreciate It All The Same.

For All Those That Don't Know, I Am An Undergraduate At The University Of Chicago And Here's What Harvard Officials Had To Say About My Beloved School:

" “Should our goal be to select a student body with the highest possible proportions of high-ranking students, or should it be to select, within a reasonably high range of academic ability, a student body with a certain variety of talents, qualities, attitudes, and backgrounds?” Wilbur Bender asked. To him, the answer was obvious. If you let in only the brilliant, then you produced bookworms and bench scientists: you ended up as socially irrelevant as the UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO (an institution Harvard officials looked upon and shuddered)."

- New Yorker, Oct. 10, 2005

Links:
President Obama's Acceptance Speech (the transcript) WHITE SOX WIN WORLD SERIES AT LAST! From The Daily Princetonian "Think We've Got It Bad? U.Chicago Has It Worse"
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Sep. 25th, 2009 @ 05:34 pm Writer's Block: Sleep on it
Current Location: o'hare airport
Current Mood: contemplative

Did you ever say anything to someone in anger that you lived to regret? Did you apologize? If so, did it bring you closer?


View 718 Answers



I have many times. Some I've appologised for, most I haven't, but all of them I regret.At times I've been a real bitch to the people I love most.I've rarely b ecome closer as a result of the experience. In fact, it's alienated ppl.

If you read my journal and I've done this to you know that I am deeply sorry for my actions and I regret it everyday.

I let my past rule my present wayyy too much. Most ppl can say "I was young and stupid then so it's ok." Me, I can't. I keep punishing myself for the same stupid mistakes over and over.

I'm sorry.
Silmeria
Aug. 27th, 2009 @ 12:29 am Distracted
Current Mood: busy
I hate it when you're in the middle of something when all of a sudden (almost out of compulsion) you stop and can't get started again. I don't know if this happens much with anyone else or if it's just me.

I guess I'll go pour myself a cup of tea and try to get going again.

Also, law school is difficult. o.o when your teachers aren't scaring you to death they are working you to death. This is the first real week of classes, and I'm proud of myself for just trying to keep up and take meticulous notes about everything instead of letting it lay by the wayside.

Anyway, hopefully i'll be able to get back to work now.
Silmeria
Apr. 27th, 2009 @ 06:32 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: crushed
I feel like the worst person in the world right now...

actually, i just feel like the worst fiancee in the world right now. x.x hopefully i'll feel a bit better after eating a little bit of dinner and working.
Silmeria
Apr. 27th, 2009 @ 12:35 am Why do people hate on affirmative action?
Current Mood: angry
Two things piss me off tremendously:

1) When Dave is being a huge douche
2) Reading/Hearing people speak negatively about affirmative action... especially the "oh, it prefers less qualified applicants because of their ethnicity" or "it's inherently racist"

Seriously... that pisses me off more than anything else. First and foremost, when a school official can look at me with a completely serious/straight face and tell me that I should join the military because that's where minority students can actually get ahead, then I friggin know we still need affirmative action. Second, affirmative action is a bit more inclusive than people think (it includes women, veterans, and people with disabilities), and most important YOU HAVE TO BE QUALIFIED TO BE CONSIDERED. I know, SHOCKER! Holy crap you actually have to, you know, be talented and capable of the work/schooling as well, race is not the 'get out of jail free' card for losers!

It isn't the program that's racist, children, it's the friggin system. Affirmative action is the response and, frankly, has opened a lot of doors that were previously closed to qualified and intelligent women, minorities, etc.

The reason that I get really mad about this, though, is that I know that because of my sex and the color of my skin I have to run twice as hard and twice as fast to be recognized, while someone who is legitimately less qualified than me may not need to. If anyone has a right to be pissed off and talk about discrimination it's the people who are discriminated against constantly.

So a note to all of you angry folks who like to rag on affirmative action because you couldn't get ahead and you can't stand to see people do better than you: keep your opinions to yourself. All that ragging on affirmative action does is make you sound like an ignorant, racist and sexist jerk. Think about how many women and/or minority professors/college students/lawyers/doctors/etc you see. Now take that number and see how many of them are actually recognized for their work.

If you can't do the above, at least don't talk to me about your hatred of affirmative action because I will inflict violence upon you.

That is all.
Silmeria
Apr. 21st, 2009 @ 04:12 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: happy
Critique went really well today. :) My prof really liked the sculptures I made and thinks that I have a really wonderful grasp of how to manipulate material in interesting ways. yay!

I'll try to put up pics at some point, but it's a bit difficult since I can't find my camera xD

This is when I really love art... it's cool to see what I'm capable of doing and to know that it's visually appealing to others.

It's a fun way to externalize my labor xD I can haz fulfillment?

I need to reread Marx apparently. x.x;; Also, I need to brush up on my Hegel and Nietzsche in order to better understand Simone de Beauvoir. I love the Second Sex, though, and I highly recommend that everyone read it. Not only does it give an interesting perspective on the situation of women, it's also an interesting account of humanity and the relationship of the self with others.

Now for a well deserved nap before I spend quality time with the Second Sex.
Silmeria
Apr. 20th, 2009 @ 12:42 am Calm
Current Mood: happy
Rain is so calming to me...

There's really nothing like listening to the rain with a book that you like, some soft music in the background, and a cup of something warm (or in my case ice cream) knowing that you've accomplished something.

I hope this feeling never ends.

When I actually have my sculptures together I'll post pics of the better ones up here or on the facebooks. :)
Silmeria
Apr. 18th, 2009 @ 01:58 am (no subject)
I liked the 10 year meme ahra had up so... i'ma gonna copy it!

In 1999....

How old were you?
12 turning 13

Where did you go to school?
Timber Ridge

Where did you work?
Didn't

Where did you live?
Evanston

Where did you hang out?
Kelsey's, home

How was your hair?
a little longer than shoulder length; poofy, curly, and really frizzy :(

Did you wear glasses?
Yup

Who was your best friend(s)?
Kelsey, Drew, Ida, Adam

Who was your regular-person crush?
Alex, lol

How many tattoos did you have?
None

How many piercings did you have?
one in both ears

What car did you drive?
none...

What was your worst fear?
People abandoning me, particularly my dad... my mom being arrested because of something i said in passing to my dad... the DCFS

Had you been arrested?
nope

Had your heart been broken?
Yes

Single/Taken/Married/Divor
ced/Bitter?
single

**HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!**



How old are you?
22 (soon to be 23)

Where do you work?
Evanston Township High School, hopefully I'll get this job at Smart Museum of Art

Where do you live?
most of the year Hyde Park (Chicago)

Where do you hang out?
Home, the Dorm, wherever people are hanging out :)

Do you wear glasses?
not so much. I wear contacts because my glasses are broken :P

How is your hair?
Shorter, when it's curled up it's about jaw length, looks pretty though :)

Who are your best friends?
Kelsey, Rachel, David, Nathan, Maddy and Adam, and quite a few more ^_^ i feel lucky to have so many wonderful people around me.

Still talk to any of your old friends?
Quite a few actually :)

Who is your current interest?
My fiance ^___^

How many tattoos?
1 on my back, tiger in leaves... the tiger's name is Miranda ^_^

How many piercings do you have?
two in each ear, and one in my right nostril

What kind of car do you drive?
none because i suck :P

What is your biggest fear?
the people i love realizing how big a mistake it is to be around me and leaving me x.x

Have you been arrested since, if so, how many times?
never

Has your heart been broken since then?
yup

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter
Taken
Silmeria
Apr. 12th, 2009 @ 11:42 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: artistic
i totally suck at this whole organizing thing... ugh x.x;;;

can it be may now? can i just spend the rest of the quarter in the art studio making funky sculptures? how about sewing funky dresses out of huge tshirts? hell, i'd be happy to sit and read at this point...

i dunno, i'm having a hard time getting motivated about things now. x.x last night i made a dress out of one of david's old shirts for maddy. it looks so cute, and it was the first time in a little while that i felt really inspired. right now i just want to create. i want to make things and show them off to the world.

:p i think i just don't want to do my reading for psychology of negotiation xD
Silmeria
Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 08:33 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: blah
So I lost my ID and, thinking I'd lost it in the law school, I decided it would be better to just get a new one instead of trying to retrace my steps and find my old one.

Apparently I dropped it somewhere on campus where someone found it and, very considerately, emailed me to tell me they found it. This is, of course, after I had already bought a new ID, which is nonrefundable and voids my old ID.

Crap.
Silmeria
Apr. 6th, 2009 @ 09:36 pm Yay!!
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Nothing Better by The Postal Service
I got accepted to Syracuse College of Law! :) They're also offering me a pretty huge scholarship (most of tuition).

^^ Now I just need to hear from UChicago. If I get accepted, which would be the most fantastic thing in the world, I will go there. If I don't, I'll go to Syracuse and move in with Dave which is also quite fantastic. ^_^ I'm so happy right now.

Putting the obvious advantage of living with Dave aside, Syracuse has a lot more opportunities for people interested in corporate law than DePaul which I am ecstatic about. It would still be really fuggin cool to go to UChicago though. *Keeping fingers crossed*

I got the letter today, which made it really difficult to focus on class x.x;;

Anyway, gotta go do some reading. :) I just felt like spreading the joy.
Silmeria
Apr. 2nd, 2009 @ 07:28 pm Tired but in a good way...
Current Mood: happy
Oh man... Today I went to the gym and Rachel showed me how to use a bunch of the machines. :) Did a full workout and holy crap am I tired. The last time I actually exercised this much was high school xD Don't get me wrong, belly dance is a hell of a work out but it's not the same. I feel tired in my entire body, and usually belly dance doesn't make me feel like that. Oddly enough, this is the best that I've felt in a while. I like this tired much more than my usual "I just want to sleep the world away" kind of tired. x.x;; I think I might drink some coffee or something to try and get stuff done. Or maybe I should just go with the flow and take a quick nap.

:) I can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow.
Silmeria
Mar. 30th, 2009 @ 06:22 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: excited
I slept all day yesterday, did very little today (went to class and a meeting), and now I'm sleepy again. ugh...

my class schedule is looking fantastic so far. ^^ no classes on wednesdays or fridays and only one class on mondays.

so yea, other than being oddly sleepy and excited about my class schedule not a whole hell of a lot is going on.
Silmeria
Mar. 16th, 2009 @ 09:17 pm Epiphany
Current Mood: happy
No matter how upset my dad makes me or how much crap we go through, it always makes me feel so happy to just sit and hang out with him for a bit. He called me and we hung out at Jimmy's for a couple hours and had dinner. It made me glad to hang out with him and swap stories and good books, so much so that I left grinning like a goof.

On the one hand it really aggravates me because it seems like I'm desperate for my dad's affection. I mean really, after all that we went through, why do I still hang out with him and why does it make me so happy to see him? On the other hand, I'm glad that I'm able to enjoy his company and that he wants me around. I dunno...

x.x;; it's complicated, so i'm just going to enjoy the happy feeling that i have right now and stop questioning it.

on a different note: one more paper to go! half way done with it too!
Silmeria
Mar. 12th, 2009 @ 11:27 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: cheerful
Econ final completed! :D I can live again! I've been studying for that damn class for the past 3 days... *dead* it was a really great class, though, and I'm glad i took it even though it might own me.

now i just have to correct 2 papers and write a research paper... go me... x.x;;;

at least i don't have to go to debate until like 2 pm, thank god.

i'm going to miss my theater class. i really enjoyed reading plays and discussing them (i am in love with beckett and churchill right now). i also wish that i could take the machiavelli class again. there was just so much material that it was a bit difficult to digest everything in 10 weeks. not only did we read the prince and discourses on livy we also read the florentine histories and the actual livy histories. it was really really intense, and i couldn't keep up. we could've spent a whole quarter just talking about the discourses and reading the actual livy histories. *sigh*

next quarter should be interesting. ^^ i'm not registered yet (par for the course really), but the classes i want to take look really interesting.

anyway, time for the sleeps!
Silmeria
Mar. 8th, 2009 @ 04:06 pm Rain!
Current Mood: content
eeeww... my socks are wet.

I gotta say, though, I prefer the rain to the snow. The sound of rain and thunder are both very soothing.

I'm listening to the rain in a dark classroom, with music playing in the background, while contemplating Machiavelli. All I need is hot chocolate.

So yea, life is pretty good.


---------
(Edit) So yea... apparently I do not know Machiavelli very well... or at all... yea. There's a lot to put together. x.x
Silmeria
Mar. 5th, 2009 @ 08:54 pm Siiiick
Current Mood: sick
Feeling sick and feverish. *sigh* if this doesn't clear up by tomorrow I'll go see a doctor.

x.x oh man this has to clear up this weekend, otherwise studying for finals/doing homework will be hideously difficult. as it is now i'm having a really hard time concentrating.

is the quarter done yet? can it be done? i wish i could fast-forward to spring break. hell, i wish i could fast forward to senior week. i'd be able to have fun and would only worry about my mom, dad, and step mom interacting at all at graduation.
Silmeria
Feb. 22nd, 2009 @ 11:03 pm More Happy Updates While I Procrastinate
Current Mood: determined
I am so bad at this homework thing... x.x;; With 3 papers due and a final, these next couple of weeks will be fun....

Anyway, happy update :) On Saturday, I was waiting for the two debaters that made it into elimination rounds (the tournament only broke to semis for L-D so this was a big deal) and this girl that I have judged at previous debate tournaments came up to me and asked me about U of C. Apparently she'd been accepted to the University and had questions about how to determine if it was actually the school for her (as well as about opportunities and working).

Anyway, while we were talking two of her teammates came by. One of them looked at me and said "Hey, you judged me in an earlier round. I just wanted to say that you are a fantastic judge and that your comments really helped!" (this was a debater that I didn't vote for)

I was stunned to hear this because I always figured that, at the end of the round, debaters are probably cursing my name while talking to their teammates about what a huge idiot I am for not comprehending their incredibly complex and magnificent arguments they made. With this in mind, hearing from someone that my comments are actually helpful made me happy. On top of this, though, the girl I was talking to agreed. She said that they always sing my praises to their coach and their teammates.

:) Considering that, where debate was concerned, I've always thought my knowledge and skills were utterly mediocre thus making me a hideous teacher, hearing this kind of praise from people that I have judged previously (and didn't vote for) totally unprovoked just filled me with joy.

:D I guess I'm actually a pretty damn good judge!

Now I just need to get through these next couple of weeks... Ugh.... Finals week is going to kill me this year.
Silmeria
Feb. 21st, 2009 @ 09:39 am Happy Updates
Current Mood: sleepy
So, I'm chilling at the Maine East debate tournament, having a hard time concentrating on homework and watching my kids talk to other debaters. The nice thing about coaching is that everyone is pretty self contained, but trying to get them to ask questions is like pulling teeth. >.>;; I forgot how hard it can be to ask questions when you're not prompted to.

Anyway, so today started pretty hideous. The cab I was taking to the high school was so late that I had to tell the kids to just go without me (they were hitching a ride with another assistant coach). Then the cab came and wouldn't take me to Maine East, even after I asked him. x.x;; My mom wound up renting a car and driving me there. The debaters got there on time for round 4, though, and luckily I didn't have to judge. >.>;; Now I'm just sleepy.

I got my first acceptance letter!!! DePaul College of Law accepted me, and they're offering me a scholarship!! :) It will be $20,000 per year that goes towards tuition. ^_^ I was so happy when I got the letter that I cried. Frankly, I didn't think that I was a very competitive candidate, and that no law school would want me. Even if they wanted me, I was sure there was no way in hell that anyone was going to give me a scholarship.

DePaul isn't my first choice, but it's a good school and I feel so relieved. ^_^ I've been on cloud nine ever since

-----------------

Dave also got accepted into Syracuse and Brandiese. :) Hopefully he'll get into some good Illinois schools.

Anyway good times.
Silmeria
Jan. 19th, 2009 @ 02:24 am Updates!
Current Location: Da Dorm
Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Pandora; Deftones
So... yeah. ^^;; I haven't updated in a while, and since my brain is melting and I can't really focus I may as well.

Starting with winter break, it was fun and relaxing. I started it by going to Minnesota, though, for a debate tournament. Felt really bad about going because that Sunday was me and Dave's anniversary, and by the time I got back it was too late/ I was too tired to actually do anything. I spent a lot of time with him, though. More than I did last year I think. The next couple of days after that Adam, David, and I went Christmas shopping, which was fun. When Dave and I went, though, he had taken his meds (he stayed up all night writing his personal statement), and I learned that going shopping with Dave while he's on his meds can be a really not fun experience. Ah well. We got things done, which is always good. Christmas and Adam's birthday went well. For Christmas Dave and I wound up spending Christmas morning with my family and the afternoon/evening with Dave's folks, Matt and Pixie, and Dave and Matt's cousin (at least I think he's his cousin) and his girlfriend. It was a good time had by all ^^

Adam's birthday went well. We went to see Spirit, which is hilarious and extremely campy, and then we did cake and ice cream at the house. Dave, Matt, and I had to leave early though because we needed to get back to Matt and Pixie's. x.x;;; We were supposed to go back earlier but I delayed us >.<;;; as per usual. The drive back was foggy as all get out and kinda terrifying. Anyway, the next day Dave, Matt, Pixie, and I went to Door County, WI and stayed in this beautiful lodge called Bjorklunden that's owned by Dave's college. It was gorgeous. It's in the middle of no where and surrounded by trees and the lake. With all the snow it was simply amazing. I really wish that we had been able to explore the outside a bit more. At night it was a bit scary, only because it's in the middle of no where and the people at the lodge don't really lock any of the doors. All of the doors (even the hotel rooms) lock from the inside and it looks really deserted. Oh, and did I mention that we had a whole wing to ourselves? It was pure ridiculousness. Anyway, spent that weekend watching movies, playing war machine/ games, and working on law school apps/ helping Dave with his apps. it was a lot of fun, and I'd liketo try and go back during the summer.

After that spent some time at Dave's folks' place, went to Chinatown with folks, went to Matt and Pixie's for New Years (which was really fun, I always enjoy hanging out with Matt and Pixie's con friends), and then celebrating Maddy's 14th birthday. x.x;; The only suck thing about that was spending time with a bunch of adolescent kiddies, but it was nice being there for Maddy and Dave and I basically hung out with Adam the whole time xD

For her birthday, Maddy is going to get her nose pierced! I'm taking her to the same place that I got my nose pierced. By the by, if you're considering getting piercings/ tattoos, I highly recommend Insight Studios. They are phenomenal. The guy who does the piercings is really nice, very professional (the only place in Chicago where the piercer is actually part of the Association of Professional Piercers, which holds really strict standards for cleanliness, etc), and gives you a lolly pop afterwords. The place is also extremely clean. ^^ Also, the piercings and jewelery is reasonable. I plan on getting my next tattoo there.

Let's see... I had a really weird allergy emergency the Sunday before classes started. Basically my entire mouth became horribly swollen in the course of a couple of hours, and my throat started closing up and I started having an asthma attack. It was a really scary experience. Luckily, before I started having a hard time breathing, my mom had given me benedryll and we were heading to the hospital. I still don't know what caused it. It started happening again when I came back this past Friday (had a debate tournament in Omaha), but I took Benedryll immediately and it stopped. I'll have to see what the deal is.

Anyway, so now I'm back at school (well, this will be my third week back but what the hell) and taking four classes because I hate myself. UChi-Con is coming up in a couple of weeks, which I am terrified about. We have everything for the speakers set up, which is good, but we're still trying to advertise and finish updating the website/ get budget stuff together. It's times like this that I feel like I'm up shit creek without a paddle. I'm hoping it will go well, and that people will be able to come.

If you're into anime, and would like to hear interesting academic discussions about it, please check us out:

When: January 31, 2009 from 12 - 8 pm
Where: 1116 E. 59th Street Chicago, IL 60637

Check out our website at: jas.uchicago.edu/uchi-con We have some interesting speakers coming as well as a bunch of neat panels, so it should be a good time had by all. Despite what the home page says the events page is actually updated.

This upcoming Saturday I'm going to see Spamalot with Dave! ^^ I'm totally excited about it. I miss him so much already. x.x;; It's weird because on the one hand I'm used to being apart like this, but on the other hand I still miss him dreadfully. I feel lonely and empty when he leaves and then bury myself in work to try and stave off the loneliness. It's a good thing that there's a lot of work to do. Ugh, not to mention law school apps and before anyone says anything YES, I am STILL sending them out, and yes I realize that it's rolling admissions and I'm screwing myself over by not turning them in. I get it, and I may kill people if I hear it again. Being told that I'm screwing myself will not make it easier to turn these god damn things in nor will it make all the application fees magically manifest. Honestly. I've gotten some in already, and now I'm just getting the rest. x.x;;

Anyway, so that's what's going on now. I'm preparing for UChi-Con, trying to start writing papers, so that I'm not entirely screwed, finishing law school apps, trying to find judges for the ETHS home tournament, and preparing for ACen.

UGH. This is what I HATE about winter quarter. x.x;; shoot meeee~
Silmeria
Dec. 11th, 2008 @ 03:57 pm Free At Last
Current Mood: relaxed
Thank God I am now done with finals!

These past couple of weeks have been rough, especially because David and Matt's grandfather passed away the weekend before Thanksgiving. I miss him greatly. He was a very kind and gentle man, who was loving and accepting. He made me feel like I was his grand daughter and a part of his family, like it wasn't a question. I enjoyed visiting him with the Harbage family when I could, even though he was a demon at cards. ^^;

I'm glad that I could see him before he passed, and that I was able to be there for David when he needed me.

My mom and Weiler have also been a bit sad this Thanksgiving because it's the one year anniversary of both their fathers passing. My mom still is dealing with my grandfather's real estate, which has been both difficult and stressful.

Maddy is also doing well. Her nose looks really nice! You can't tell that it was broken. For those who don't know (because I'm terrible at this update thing), Maddy broke her nose playing volleyball and pretty much smashed it again playing soccer. Apparently it was so bad that the doctor couldn't reconstruct the side that was broken, so he had to break the other side to make her nose even. There were also bone fragments from the break that could've hit her brain. She's doing much better now, and she looks great. She may kill you if you poke her in the nose, though.

So let's see, other than all of that things are going alright. I learned a neat strawberry-rhubarb pie recipe that people liked :) I'll have to make more this holiday, maybe for New Years. I've also gotten much better at baking apple pies. ^^ I want to bake more this holiday and learn new recipes! >.>;; I derive entirely too much joy from things like cooking a nice meal or baking something that people like.

I also helped my mom cook this Thanksgiving. It was so much fun ^^ i learned how to make one of my favorite dishes (spinach lasagna).

Still need to send out law school applications, which should be quick and easy now that everything else (including my transcripts) are turned in.

Also, in terms of getting transcripts: Ariel - 1; University of Chicago = 0 Still waiting for the obligatory "pay off your balances or we will withdraw you and kill your family" email from Susan Art, who I am officially declaring my nemesis.

UChi-Con stuff is coming along pretty nicely. I'm going to call the financial ops people to see how the travel arrangements are coming along for our speakers, and I need to get on top of the budgets to beg for monies. :D Everything is going really well, though, and I'm excited. The website still needs to be updated, but that will be taken care of ASAP. We also need panelists apparently, but hopefully we'll get some more people. Spike, the creator of Templar Arizona, will be coming!! ^^ Exciting to the max.

Anyway, that's all the news I've got going on at the moment. Come this Saturday I can sleep, watch Dr Who, and work on briefs for debate. Man I can't wait.
Silmeria